17 Activities for Quarantined Couples to Keep Things Interesting
Have you considered making a castle out of Amazon boxes?
You’ve cooked together, you’ve read together, you’ve stared vacantly out the window for hours together, so now what?
You’ve found yourself reading this article because a moment ago you actually considered starting that 10,000-piece puzzle of Notre Dame your grandma sent you from her European cruise last year. The only reason you would even consider such torture is that your reality feels like a Martha Stewart prison sentence.
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But I’m here to assure you that self-isolation with your spouse, special someone, or recent hookup whom you’re now trapped with doesn’t have to mean self-punishment. Unless, of course, you have kids. Then you’re truly fucked right now.
Below are 17 actually creative activities for couples. Some of them are weird, but who knows how long this will last. Things may get desperate.
1. Themed dinner and a movie
You know how when you see someone eating something in a movie, you then want to eat that thing, too? Well, you can. Have a ramen night and watch Tampopo. Whip up a buttery mushroom pasta and then watch Phantom Thread. Get sloshed on homemade White Russians, watch The Big Lebowski, and then maybe take a hard look in the mirror.
2. Acrobatic couples yoga
Do you remember that hot, perfect couple doing acrobatic yoga on the beach last year? You audibly scoffed as the dude effortlessly balanced a pretzel-shaped woman on his strong, hot shins? Remember how deep inside, you were actually envisioning yourself as the bendy pretzel? Now’s your chance for you and your lover to practice, so that by summer, you can demonstrate your superiority as a couple.
3. Write a play and then perform it virtually for your friends
Or just for yourselves; I don’t know how bad your writing is.
4. Make pickles
Cucumbers, carrots, lemons, potatoes, whatever. If it fits in a mason jar, you can pickle it. Someone prove me wrong.
5. Put on a fashion show for each other
But do it wearing the other person’s clothes. This may not be that interesting if you’re one of those couples who look like identical twins.
6. See how long you can go without talking to or looking at each other
If this goes on for too long it may result in a fight, which would also take up time!
7. Get super high and watch an entire season of ‘Bob’s Burgers’
You could also watch an entire season of Bob’s Burgers sober. Honestly, I recommend doing this in just about any state of mind.
8. Get crafty
Make ChapStick, make candles, make soap, make bath bombs. Hop on Pinterest and peruse the possibilities.
9. Teach each other a new skill
Can one of you sew? Play chess? Do you have excellent knife skills while your partner couldn’t slice a tomato if Italy depended on it? Now’s your chance to become one of those super couples who are good at everything. But be patient with each other; Rome wasn’t built in a day and we don’t want to revisit the argument that occurred after activity number six.
10. Learn how to whittle
Ah, the classic pastime of old pastoral men on porches. Chances are neither of you know how to do this. Watch a Youtube “how to” video, order your whittling kit, a handcrafted and useless leather apron, and an effortlessly grizzled beard online, and make a “whittled” something special for each other.
11. Make secret elaborate cocktails for each other
Most of us are drinking more out of boredom — instead of that bottle of Trader Joe’s wine, why not whip up a cocktail? To add to the “fun,” you each have to guess all the ingredients used in your drink. Whoever guesses the most ingredients correctly gets to pick the movie you will inevitably watch after.
12. Make a single-ingredient inspired meal
Pick an ingredient from the cupboard or fridge (maybe the one that’s been sitting in there the longest?) and make a meal that highlights that ingredient. Take, for example, that weird tomato you bought last week because it looked like a pumpkin disguised as a tomato and this brought you joy for a fleeting two minutes. Try this simple tomato salad with feta and pistachios.
13. Make each other Spotify playlists
The songs can be meaningful, silly, an introduction to a specific genre, whatever makes the time pass.
14. Explore Radiooooo
If you haven’t already experienced the magic of Radiooooo, get ready to spend the rest of the day experiencing the strange and ethereal sounds of music from around the world or the remainder of the evening on “Fornication Island.” Tip: Download the app.
15. Build a box castle
You made a fort out of sheets and pillows last week. This week, how about a castle carefully constructed from all those Amazon boxes of toilet paper that you hoarded, you selfish monster? You’re the reason I’ve been holding my bladder for the last week.
16. Prank-call your friends
I would also highly recommend prank-calling your grandparents if you don’t have an ethical quandary with that.
17. Draw each other naked
Could be hot, could be funny, could be terribly offensive. Either way, it should be entertaining.
