A Non-Drinker Discovers the Joy of a Cannabis Lounge
Experiencing calm and humane treatment you can’t find at a bar
When I was younger, I was what ’90s kids called a “goody-goody.” I got straight As; I didn’t sneak out with boyfriends; and I never did drugs. To me, it never seemed worth it, like too much work to get a bite of the forbidden apple. I wasn’t even that experimental in college — I didn’t discover marijuana until years after graduation, after I had given up alcohol for health reasons.
Smoking didn’t bode well with me, but edibles — from fruity dark-chocolate bars to vegan gummy squares—introduced me to a new world of cannabis enjoyment unlike any other type of enjoyment I’d known before. No hangover, no word-vomit remorse, plus complete and utter relaxation? Not to mention the sporadic bursts of enlightenment, which were a refreshing change compared to alcohol’s downing effects.
One of the more exciting developments has been the opening of several “consumption lounges,” about 10 of which have debuted in the Bay Area, designed to welcome guests to consume weed on-site in hopes of boosting sales and destigmatizing the culture surrounding marijuana use.
I’d found my perfect replacement for alcohol, yet the (lack of) freedom to socialize over a cannabis-laden drink or snack had left me sorely disappointed. There’s little ceremony in popping an edible. Then I heard about Moe Greens, a new cannabis-consumption lounge in downtown San Francisco where vaping, smoking, eating and drinking weed abound in a space that feels like a relaxing, trendy restaurant. Here I discovered that going out after dark could actually be enjoyable again.
Since legalization in California, most people have focused on new dispensaries or start-up edible companies. But one of the more exciting developments has been the opening of several “consumption lounges,” about 10 of which have debuted in the Bay Area, designed to welcome guests to consume weed on-site in hopes of boosting sales and destigmatizing the culture surrounding marijuana use.
I recently checked out Moe Greens, the newest on the scene, which opened in January. Moe Greens’s gold metallic wallpaper, Sputnik-style light fixtures, green leather semi-round booths and brick-accent wall are a far cry from dumpsters and alleyways, where people have been relegated to pass a joint around on a night out. Ever the trendsetter, San Francisco is setting the bar for what cannabis consumption can be like with a little makeover, and cities like San Diego are hoping to follow in its footsteps.
Although state law deemed recreational marijuana legal in January 2018, it hasn’t been an easy path to get to this point. High taxes and the problem of eradicating the black market have both posed challenges for cannabis-based businesses. And not all California cities are made equal, either. Places like San Francisco’s Bloom Room and Urban Pharm were among those businesses that took advantage of the city’s law, which makes available a permit allowing dispensaries to add on smoking rooms and other consumption areas on-site. The swanky Barbary Coast Collective preceded Moe Greens in elevating the experience by envisioning a totally new vibe for pot enjoyment: glamour, class and sophistication, from the offerings to the decor to the service.
My distaste for alcohol consumption sharpened into focus as it dawned on me how much drinking was intrinsically tied to generally making me feel like shit.
My husband, my brother-in-law and I strolled past the velvet green ropes around 9:00 p.m. on a Friday night into the opulently adorned lounge in San Francisco’s Mid-Market neighborhood like civilized adults. Our IDs were processed by a lovely receptionist, and we didn’t have to wait in line. I pitied the women my age across town somewhere, with fully made-up faces, bondage-style dresses and heels prepartying with their gaggle of girlfriends, psyching themselves before likely being turned away from at least two clubs that night.
My initial impressions of my first time at a cannabis lounge adequately convinced me that if I never stepped foot in another alcohol-serving bar again, my life might actually be better for it. Describing itself as an institution “where all adults 21 and over can shop, relax and enjoy cannabis in a safe and comfortable space,” Moe Greens is a place where you can bring your mother. I had gone seamlessly from runnings errands to spending a night out without fussing about how I looked — something I’d never felt comfortable doing even at the most laid-back bar. My distaste for alcohol consumption sharpened into focus as it dawned on me how much drinking was intrinsically tied to generally making me feel like shit.
Cannabis: 1 / Alcohol: 0
I caught sight of a sign that I’d seen numerous times that night with colorful illustrations informing newcomers of possible alarming symptoms of cannabis to take note of: dizziness, nausea, feelings of paranoia, etc. “Damn,” I thought. “How many hangovers, one-night stands and completely inane antics might be averted if bars invested in signage like that?”
I practically LOL’d when the first budtender beckoned me to him. “Hey, guys, over here!” the man behind the counter called to us. I recalled all the nights I’d stood glued to the corner of the bar, every so often raising a finger to get the bartender’s attention unsuccessfully. I had given up hard liquor after college, occasionally enjoying a couple of sips of wine or champagne at a celebratory event. Soberly, I was always very aware of how inconsequential my hydration needs were in comparison to those who were consuming booze (and tipping accordingly).
Therein were the first few indications that tonight would be different than any other Friday night I’d experienced in a long time. For one, I made the plans to go out, and if you know me, I rarely see outside the four walls of my apartment after the sun goes down — so that’s already monumental. But the warmth, friendliness and utterly humane treatment by the staff at Moe Greens was somewhat of a foreign concept. This, I had already decided, was the marked difference between a night spent with cannabis versus one spent with alcohol.
Cannabis: 2 / Alcohol: 0
At the counter, our budtender gave us the rundown of the flavors of their low-dose cannabis sodas. (I picked grapefruit, and I did not regret it.) After getting another friendly notice to go slow with the drinks as noobs, we headed off to the High Roller room, one of the three spaces in the lounge, to enjoy our beverages in one of the five luxurious and private leather booths intended to create a more traditional lounge-like feel for patrons. I had to smile when we walked by two middle-aged women in one of the booths, who could have easily passed as suburban moms. “This is what happens when you create a nice space to smoke weed,” I thought, silently applauding San Francisco for breaking the barrier on an age-old taboo.
On our way in, we passed people in the Playground, a more casual space set up with smaller tables and high-tops that’s perfect for mingling with friends and strangers—though everyone mostly kept to their own small parties. At our table, we found all the necessities for rolling and lighting up a joint to smoke openly, casually and comfortably — no dodgy dorm-room shenanigans here. Just adults. Drinking. Smoking. With the decency and maturity that should be required of anyone allowed the privilege of using any substance whatsoever.
A few moments later, another budtender checked in on us: “How’s everything? Can I get you guys any water?”
To think that that caliber of service can be purchased for a few eight-dollar drinks renders the offering of table service that much more ridiculous. Admittedly, the cannabis- and CBD-infused drinks are among the more inexpensive items at Moe Greens, while the prerolled joints can range from $13 for a lemonade-flavored indica variety to $212 for a Kimbo Kush Canna Cigar. And while it’s easy enough to walk in and grab a premium space, reservations are available for a High Roller booth or room or for a table in the Playground, all of which come with a personal attendant and table ordering. Rates start at $420 per hour.
That’s the thing about weed I think people truly undervalue: its implicit chillness naturally lends itself to people’s ability to act like grown-ups.
But on this particular night, there were no high-roller expenditures, and the service was still up to par compared to standard table service at traditional bars. As our budtender made his fourth or fifth round to check on us and our singular drinks (mind you, there’s no food or alcohol served at Moe Greens, in accordance with law), but not in any way to rush us, my husband raved about the lounge’s white-glove service. No, I said, it would be white-glove service if they treated us like we had money. Here we were treated like humans.
Cannabis: 3 / Alcohol: 0
Janet Jackson came on the speakers later that night, and I noted how generally pleasant the music selection had been. Maybe it was the high talking, but unlike the way most people are while under the effects of alcohol, everyone around me was perfectly capable of maintaining their composure and appreciating the jams. Young, old and middle-aged folks mingled around us. Age wasn’t a factor in others’ capacity to be respectful, and the noise level ranged between five and seven on a scale of 10.
That’s the thing about weed I think people truly undervalue: its implicit chillness naturally lends itself to people’s ability to act like grown-ups. Upon realizing that my night might actually transpire without dodging the punches of some raucous bros fighting over who said what to whose girlfriend or avoiding the trajectory of a woman’s upchuck (and it did), I decided that I could really get used to this.
Cannabis: Winner / Alcohol: Loser