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An Oakland Eye-Contact Party Is More Intimate Than an Orgy
What I saw when I stared into a complete stranger’s eyes
My Lyft driver asks if I would like to be dropped off “where all those weirdos are sitting.” I tell him I think I would, please. People are coupled off, staring into the eyes of the person in front of them. Some are holding hands while they stare; others are hugging. Two people sit alone, waiting. For me?
I walk toward the crowd in my polka dot dress with my elephant purse slung over my shoulder. I’m ready for the World’s Biggest Eye-Contact Experiment in Oakland. I just wish I hadn’t eaten an onion bagel for breakfast.
The event suggests that we’ll share a minute of eye contact with strangers in public to rebuild our sense of humanity. How does this begin? I decide to ask an attractive man sitting in the middle of the eye-contact orgy. His name is Nick, and he instructs me to sit down on the ground. I do so while trying not to flash him.
“How will we know when the time is up?” I ask.
He tells me that we will just “feel it,” but I’m skeptical. We shake hands, which feels odd before we’re about to dive into the depths of each other’s eyes, but go along with it. We begin what feels like a staring contest, but all I can think about is that I hope he’s not looking at my jagged bangs or can smell my onion-bagel breath.
Left eye. Right eye. Left eye. Massive mole. Don’t laugh. Don’t you dare laugh. Stop thinking about sex. Stop making weird humming noises. Stop picking your cuticles.
He has no reaction at all. I smile. I giggle. I lick my lips. I swallow—twice. He maintains his stoicism.
I want to break him. To see a laugh line near his eye or a small twinge of his mouth. I remember this fact I had read earlier: “When you maintain eye contact, people can often feel strong emotions like sexual excitement or rage.” I attempt to survey his crotch for signs of an erection without breaking eye contact, but it proves to be difficult.
“Are y’all seeing the souls of my ancestors in there?” a homeless man asks us as he walks by.
