Everything You Never Asked About My Open Marriage

Learning about love, relationships, and breaking boundaries through non-monogamy

Molly
The Bold Italic

Artwork: Nicole Album

Just pretend you’re meeting a friend.

Nervously, I repeated my new mantra to myself as I made my way to my first date in nearly six years.

Nearly six years, and it’s not like I’d dated much before anyway. Nearly six years, and I had no idea what I was doing. And on top of my general gracelessness, I had yet to tell my date that I’m married.

Yes, married and dating. In San Francisco, openness, polyamory, and other forms of ethical non-monogamy are more popular than ever. U.S. Census data cited in Psychology Today suggests that just over one-fifth of American adults have engaged in consensually non-monogamous relationships, and in the Bay Area, it’s been referred to as the “next sexual revolution.” But then again, these concepts aren’t exactly mainstream. So it’s not surprising that my open marriage is a difficult concept for monogamists to wrap their minds around. Even I have trouble wrapping my mind around it most of the time.

It was in the midst of the mind-numbing boredom of complete marital bliss that we decided to take our relationship for a ride.

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Responses (18)

What are your thoughts?

My question after reading this is : why are you married and stay married? Your husband is just one of the people you date, just the one you’re not really excited about anymore. So what’s the point of this all…
What is the purpose of marriage at all…...

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I am seriously considering writing something about how nearly all popular music lyrics sounds different and a bit disturbing to me now that I am a polyamorist.

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It seems like at this point your primary relationship, i.e. your marriage, is really just someone to split the bills and commiserate with while you both go out searching for Mr./Ms. Right. Go ahead and enjoy your non-traditional relationship. You…...

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