Member-only story
I Thought Burnout Couldn’t Happen to Me, But Then It Did
And I worry my friends are on the same path
When I started at a hyper-growth startup in San Francisco, I was brimming with excitement. I would wake up eager, happily rushing to start my workday in the morning.
I rarely pushed back on work requests and found time to do everything asked of me plus additional projects I came up with. If I couldn’t finish the work during the week, that was okay — I had the weekends, too. It didn’t matter to me how much time I spent working; I was learning a lot and it would set me up for success in the long term.
At night, I’d lay in bed struggling to fall asleep with a million thoughts about work racing through my head. I’d often start drafting emails or to-do lists on my phone. I might jump up and grab my laptop to finish something quickly, which would end up taking an hour. I’d get emails past midnight and respond immediately. Reading has been a part of my bedtime routine since I was little — always fiction or fantasy. I switched to management books.
I woke up thinking about work, I went to work, I worked, I fell asleep thinking about work, I dreamed about work.
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At the beginning, I had so much energy — and work just gave me more. I rarely took PTO, but if I did, I would still happily check my email and respond to questions. I was always excited to come in in the morning and take on the day’s challenges. I’d accomplish what I set out to do and get recognition for it.
I heard “you’re doing great” and “we’d love to hire more people just like you.”
I had just moved to the city, so I had to make a new circle of friends. I felt lucky that I joined a company full of fun, interesting, similarly driven people that I easily connected with. I jumped into organizing board game nights in, Friday nights out, Saturdays in Dolores Park, and Sunday brunches.
I felt a little guilty when I’d spend time having fun instead of working, but I was able to justify it to myself. For one, building these relationships outside of the office made it easier to collaborate on the job. Second, we were…
