The Pizza Experience, a 14,000-square-foot pop-up with pie-themed interactive exhibits, is popping up in Chicago and Los Angeles. San Diego will soon get an entire museum dedicated to the beloved avocado. And the monumental Museum of Ice Cream, which started all this insanity, remains sold out as it tours the country in a quest to offer the ultimate sprinkle-filled photo op.
It’s an Instagram-obsessed, experiential wonderland in the museum industry these days. Given all these museums vying for the millennial market, we’re left wondering, what will — or rather, should — be memorialized for this generation?
Museum of Millennial Destruction
A place to say your proper farewells to the bounty of old-fashioned items millennials have killed, including but not limited to napkins, golf, fabric softener and cubicles. It’s common knowledge that we’ve wrecked relics of the past and buried them underneath layers of anxiety and self-loathing.
Museum of Entitlement
Wander through galleries devoted to all those obnoxious things millennials are always whining about, like livable wages, health insurance and the mere concept of being able to pay off student loans before we’re dead.
Museum of This Arbitrary Pink Color No One Understands
What is “millennial pink”? No one’s quite sure, but that doesn’t stop any of us from needing it to be part of everything from our cocktails to our iPhones. Exhibits at MOTAPCTNOU will explore the cultural impact of a color that most designers can’t even pinpoint using hex codes and yet has completely infiltrated the zeitgeist.
The Doggo Galleria
It makes sense that the sole inspiration for millennial homeownership would get its own museum. The kennel-inspired architecture will be filled with simple halls lined with portraits of the heckin’ best boofs this side of the dog-spotting Facebook line.
Museum of Selfie Filters
The irony of permanently memorializing Snapchat as an entity would be too much for the founders of the MOSF, but all those Kylie Jenner selfies have to go somewhere for future generations to ogle.
The Center for Contemporary ’90s Nostalgia
This will look deceptively like a Forever 21, but you won’t be able to buy anything inside. Plus, the tattoo chokers will all be on lifelike wax figures that quote Clueless when you hit a button.
Museum of Memes
Like that BET pop-up, but permanent! Please?
Museum of Voice Calls
Smack between the exhibit on pay phones and the imported collection of long-distance calling cards will be a neon plaque that simply states, “Hi, Mrs. Lodenson. May I please speak to Tom?”
Final Ice-Cap Memorial
The theory is that a desperate sea captain snagged the final chunk of ice cap after global warming destroyed the rest. He was able to shove it in his YETI cooler before it melted, putting it on display for all of eternity in a hovering monument where Venice used to be before it sunk into the ocean.
Wendy’s Museum of Twitter Burns
That shit’s legendary.
Hey! The Bold Italic recently launched a podcast, This Is Your Life in Silicon Valley. Check out the full season or listen to the episode below featuring San Francisco mayoral candidate and writer Broke-Ass Stuart. More coming soon, so stay tuned!
