Valentines Day
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The bright side is that there’s no time to be sad about being single
Being single on Valentine’s Day tends to suck. If you’re a human being who can hear and see, the holiday’s relentless marketing is going to find you and make you feel like the little match girl looking through the window of a family’s massive holiday dinner, shivering in the cold.
But let’s get some perspective here. Thanks to the pandemic, odds are that on Valentine’s Day, you’ll be inside, nice and warm in PJs, and sitting on the couch enjoying your third round of bingeing Fleabag while eating Chinese takeout leftovers. Sounds like a pretty decent evening!
Obviously, you’re still…
FRIDAY FIVE
Get high or go watch ‘The SpongeBob Musical’—better yet, do both
San Francisco has an incredible food scene, so there’s a reason we love to eat out here, even when our bank accounts don’t agree. But dining at a restaurant on Valentine’s Day can actually be the worst.
If you’re coupled or thruppled up in this city, we highly recommend skipping the overpriced prix fixe menus and think a little out of the box for a V-Day date that will be more romantic (and cheaper). Save your money for Hamilton if you haven’t seen it yet, and consider these following options for February 14.
1. Get high on gourmet edibles at Dolores Park
And how to woo them this Valentine’s Day
Today is the holiday of love and crusty heart candies that taste like your birthday cake from 1995. It’s a day that makes you consider if any of your crushes has romantic potential too. Whether you’re single, coupled or something in between, here are all the San Francisco men you’re currently crushing on (if that’s your thing, of course) and instructions on how to woo them so you don’t die alone.
Your Mysterious Muni Regular
Defining physical attributes: Sports ironically large headphones (convenient since his beanie doesn’t cover his ears), black jeans and a black shirt. …
FRIDAY FIVE
Let’s hear it for the ladies of the Bay Area
It’s almost February 14, and you know what that means: Galentine’s Day, the official holiday during which you live it up with your gal pals instead of a romantic partner.
As Leslie Knope from Parks and Recreation once said, “Every February 13, my lady friends and I leave our husbands and our boyfriends at home, and we just come and kick it breakfast-style. Ladies celebrating ladies. It’s like Lilith Fair, minus the angst.”
There are plenty of ways to celebrate with your lady friends this weekend and leading up to February 14. Here are our favorites:
1. Drunk in Love: Galentine’s Day Bottomless-Sangria Brunch
The description of this…
Valentine’s Day shines a spotlight on your relationship status whether you’re single, partnered, or have been on three dates and haven’t seen each other’s nipples yet. In fact, it is the most popular day for dating-app downloads nationwide. I want to help.
Here are some possible dating-profile bios in haiku form that you can gain inspiration from or use for yourself.
I am looking for
a good communicator
who likes to dry hump
Feed me snacks in the
morning, snacks in the evening,
and at supper time.
Always lose my socks,
will need to wear yours,
buy some extra now
…
A sexy walking tour of Downtown Berkeley with a BDSM option
Last year I had a great idea for Valentine’s Day: a “sexy” walking tour of Berkeley. My (now ex-) boyfriend wasn’t into it, and my dream was deferred. What the fuck, right? It’s true.
This year I’m single. What the fuck? It’s true. I’d be thrilled if some lovebirds out there followed my dirty-walking-tour route and Tinglered, tubbed and tarped it up.
By Carole Dixon
There are nearly 10,000 full-service restaurants in Los Angeles, so finding the perfect spot for a romantic Valentine’s Day meal can be tricky. Here are eight worth some love:
Little Door: West Hollywood
This beloved WeHo restaurant now has a westside outpost offering the best atmosphere for romance in the city: A dimly lit patio lined with trees, terra cotta tiles, and plenty of nooks and crannies for cuddling. The large plates of Mediterranean food are perfect for sharing. Since they’re cooking only a (pricey) three-course tasting menu on February 14th, we recommend celebrating your love on Friday night or on…
By Molly Sanchez
Happy Valentine’s, Galentine’s, Anna Howard Shaw Day to you all. Whether you’re taken, single, or trussed up in a love dungeon somewhere, you’re gonna want to do something fun tomorrow. After all, holiday or no holiday, it’s going to be sunny as balls, and as residents of this normally foggy city we need to soak up the rays whenever we can. Here’s a rundown of cheap ass things to do, because you have 99 problems and in this town cash is definitely one of them.
Tour a Pirate Ship
I’m going to say that again. Tour a fucking pirate ship! You…
The Bold Italic
Celebrating the free-wheeling spirit of the Bay Area — one sentence at a time.
