The Seven People You’ll Have on Your Rec-League Team — The Bold Italic — San Francisco

By David Zandman

With fitness-crazed residents and splendid weather year-round, San Francisco offers a panoply of team-sports leagues. But whether you’re playing at Crissy Field or at the Crocker-Amazon soccer fields, you’re bound to find the same characters making each season its own mini Greek drama.

THE HOTHEAD

Argues every foul. Almost starts a fight every other game. 50% talent. 50% passion. 100% determined to win.

— Black eye from a brawl two weeks ago

THE DIII ATHLETE

Often wears her college gear. Her absence nearly assures a loss. You’re perpetually paranoid she’ll drop your team for a better one.

— Lucky number since the U13 travel team

THE PLAYA

Chose a co-ed kickball league in the Marina because Tinder wasn’t cutting it. Calls out male teammates for mistakes but gives extra passes to the pretty girl.

— Sunburned from bro time all weekend at Fort Mason

THE COACH

Plunked down registration fees up front and sends repeated Venmo requests to deadbeat teammates. Constantly e-mailing to ask who’s in for the next game.

— Always hopeful the team will arrive early for practice

THE DABBLER

Makes time for occasional games in between other social obligations. You’re still not sure by week 6 if his name is Jeff or Josh.

— Spends his sideline time responding to work e-mails

THE SENIOR

Appeared one day as a free agent. Ambiguous European accent. Doesn’t move very fast, but his technique is immaculate.

— Wears a brace on every joint of his body

THE CHEMISTRY PLAYER

Has more turnovers than points but makes up for it with relentless optimism and by defusing angry teammates.

— Voice gone from cheering